Friday, March 01, 2013

Diary Entry


I sympathise with Willian Oddie's thoughts on Benedict's retirement: the closing of the doors of Castel Gandolfo seemed like not just the end of an era but the end of a relationship. So forgive the frivolous nature of this post, it is of course entirely fictitious.
Pope Emeritus' Diary 
Got up very late this morning, haven't done that for years!
afterwards prayers and Mass
Breakfast: I spilt a speck of egg and got a smear of marmalade on my cassock and I didn't bother to change. No-one fussing me!
No papers to read, books are being moved, so I thought I'd have a look a few blogs - might start one myself - anonymous of course - "Pastor Emeritus" has already been taken, maybe something satirical, or something with a heavy cat influence. I might write in High German, or perhaps something on Augustine in Arabic. I might get a cat, and it needn't be white, or even a dog -never to have to worry about muddy poor prints again! 
I have been thinking about a hobby, I need some fresh air and a little exercise, I could take up gardening.
But then I might take up cooking, no Ambassadors, no Heads of State , no Cardinals, I'll knock up something nice for lunch, then a siesta, then "Count Down", I am told I have to watch it, all retired people do, followed by a little chat with brother Georg on the phone, he might tell me how to work the microwave, then Vespers, then maybe a little Mozart, Horlicks and bed!
I better think about the weekend, what a relief, no sermon to prepare, no Angelus, no public Mass! Just think, I can look forward to Holy Week and Easter without all that hassle, without be exhausted for a week afterwards, no cameras, no journalists. If I got someone in I could just sit in choir!
***
I have just been very wicked and experienced a not being Pope pleasure; I stood at an open window and there were no pilgrims waving or guards saluting! 
Tomorrow I might come down to breakfast in my dressing gown. I might even not shave, just for one day, just to see what is like. I could grow a beard, not that I want one but it is nice to know it is possible now, and maybe with a change of hairstyle...., err the world could be my oyster. 
What I am really looking forward to is being able to walk out of my bedroom into the garden - you just can't do that on the top floor of a palace! Another thing Georg says is that I might start getting in the new place are people ringing up to offer me energy saving offers! I will look forward to that!
What I really want to do is to walk along a sandy beach alone with no security or anyone, and maybe even take my shoes and socks off. What a pleasure just be alone.
What a pleasure to have nothing but space in my diary.
I pray he has a joyful, healthy and restful retirement.



8 comments:

A Reluctant Sinner said...

Have you read today's Vatican Information Service posting? One section reads very much like what you have written!

We live in very strange times.

Supertradmum said...

We live in exciting times and God bless Benedict. I hope he gets a cat.

wretchedwithhope said...

Hopefully in the diary will be, must write more books.

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli said...

Very nice!

Fr Seán Coyle said...

'Amen' to that! God bless him.

EFpastor emeritus said...

"Horlicks and bed!"

Wot? No Complan......I mean Compline!

Alan Matthews said...

I'm not sure how to read this, Father. I still fell quite raw and emotional about the Holy Father's abdication so I'm not really in the mood for humour. But life moves on, as your post proves, and I'm sure that Pope Benedict XVI would endorse that

Arun said...

Its just before the conclave opens and I just read the piece on the retired pontiff.
This has made my day. Loved it.
Especially the bits about growing a beard and getting up late and the marmalade on the cassock and not bothering to change.

I thoght he could nip down to the local trattoria one afternoon with Georg and have an espresso and maybe some strudel which they ought keep out the back.

But grazie. Loved it and maybe some of it could be true, who knows. But has made my day as cardinals are about to vote.

I think Georg looked rather glum at the Mass this morning. Probably has a right to feel so.
Adam