This post is to prove to anyone else who might be interested that I am indeed alive.
I hate priests who seek sympathy by discussing their health problems, ordinary people have to carry on regardless ....
...but since my heart problems I have been up and down, generally more down than up, my condition and drugs make me very sleepy and tiedd to my home, I have received the great grace of falling asleep during meetings. I am also more stupid than I used to be, I haven't been able to read a book for months, I can't concentrate.
I have had a tremour in my left hand for years but it has got worst and made celebrating Mass correctly more difficult and uncomfortable, I am always anxious about spilling the Precious Blood or shaking with the ciborium and cutting food is a bit difficult too. Because I'm a bit unstable on my feet I fell downstairs awhile ago and damaged my back, I no longer need to say Mass seated behind the altar, I hated that, but it has added to the discomfort, to the point where saying Mass hurts. Saying Mass facing East is a boon but nowadays the reason is not just the theological-historical, but that it stops people seeing me wince and fumble with the host, it's a vanity thing!
I am very grateful to my priest and lay friends, especially the Traditional and Orthodox ones for their support, and kindness.
Keep me in your prayers, and pray God gives the grace to joyfully offer it up.
PS. I have just published some comments that have been hanging around for over 3 months - sorry
