Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Clergy wit

Fr Hunwicke recently used the word 'mingent', which some of those who commented on his blog didn't understand, It reminded me of a priest friend in my diocese, long since dead, who suggested 'mingency' could be a collective noun for clergy though he would also use it of the twenty years his predecessor's time in his parish, as in "during the mingency of Fr  ...."  ,

Clergy can be a bit acerbic, as well as witty about their superiors, here are few examples lest they be forgotten:

  • A miter: an artificial extension of a natural vacuum.
  • An auxiliary bishop: A theological nonentity.
  • An auxiliary bishop:The bishop's perpetual curate.
  • An auxiliary bishop: The real bishop's bully boy / bouncer.
  • Monsignor/Canon: a title to put on an envelope to impress the postman.
  • Monsignor/Canon: a title that denotes years of brown nosing that has ended in failure.
  • Being made a Canon: a kind way for a bishop to suggest retirement.
  • Of a deposed bishop: In my day he wouldn't have made his first confession let alone been consecrated bishop.
  • Of a new bishop: He intends to re-order the cathedral by replacing his predecessors' fence with his own particular throne.
  • A bishop symbolised by a singular cross, an archbishop a double-cross
  • A note to his bishop after a priest's burial, "My Lord, you have let me down for the last time".


John F H H said...

The Anglican rite for consecrating a bishop has a point where the co-consecrators gather around the kneeling candidate and the principal consecrator to together lay hands on the candidate's head.
The answer to the small boy's question, "Daddy, what are they doing now?"
is said to have been "Removing his backbone".

David O'Neill said...

Bravo John!!!!!!

Fr said...

Monsignori/Canons are often referred to as being 'created' such.
to create = to make something out of nothing...

Moving of a parish priest: "The end of an error."

Physiocrat said...

How about "The Incumbrance"?

umblepie said...

Thanks Father. Particularly liked the 'mitre' and 'the auxiliary Bishops'!!

David Chislett said...

Again, in Anglican circles:
"the archdeacon" - the crook at the head of the bishop's staff.

The Saint Bede Studio said...

A clerical wit, observing the bishop arriving at a gathering with the Diocesan Financial Advisor, the Vicar General and Chancellor : "Here comes the bishop with his Crook and Staff".

WGS said...

from the Wikipedia entry on terms of venery - "a Doctryne of doctoris", "a Sentence of Juges", "a Fightyng of beggers", "an uncredibilite of Cocoldis", "a Melody of harpers", "a Gagle of women", "a Disworship of Scottis".

I suggest adding "an Ignorance of bishops"

Mary said...

Father I wish I could laugh with you. But I cry almost every morning. A fay bishop? You would say "why not?" And I would say - it IS the end of the world.
Why is it? Not because there are abandoned sinners serving the church, but because God allows it. God has probably had enuf with our humanist pride. We are not that awesome. We suck. I am not even sure that the snake ever fought us. He was just guessing and suggesting. Holy Fathers said the Untold is all about guessing psychology. He doesn't know us. And now we fail to surprise God or..Himself. we are such a bunch of users (in the modern sense of it as..buyers). We do exceed at excuses... especially inside.. in the inner court of Law where we always win. God bless Buddha who died of vomiting after he fasted for whatever hindi reason he fasted for.

mike said...

What did it mean when an Anglican curate in the UK told me many years ago his bishop was double gaitered

PM said...

Zuchetto = cap to cover the hole left by the extraction of the spine. (Acknowledgement - I heard that at second hand form a bishop who had better remain nameless.)

Scribe said...

Dear me! According to the Oxford English Dictionary, "mingent" means "discharging urine". It is first recorded in 1685, and very rarely thereafter. Of course, one can understand a parish priest being "p***** off" with his predecessor, who will have done everything right,while he himself is routinely accused of either modernism, obscurantism, or both.

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