Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Attracting the Larus Argentatus
In the spring my parishioners are often distracted by fornicating pigeons on the glorious east window, the rest of the time they roost quietly leaving their droppings to stain the stone work and to fall on the plants in my postage stamp sized garden. When I look see them Tom Lehrer's solution comes to mind.
But we all know that would be illegal and wicked. I have been urged to think 'spikes' but that I think would be even worst than pigeon detritus dropping down from the window. I am told that a plastic owl or a kestral would scare them off, but only for a while. My pigeons are close relatives of doves, they both belong to the genus columba: so after the incident on Sunday in St Peter's Square, would the Franciscan solution be the answer?
Brighton is full of gulls, they rip open bin bags left outside the cities restuarants and leave rubbish all over the place. In Latin of course they are larus argentatus, just like the one that seems to have taken up station on the chimney of the Sistine Chapel during the Conclave and attacked the dove Pope Francis had released.
Rather than having a Conclave, would a few sprats in my freezer occasionally thrown into the garden attract a marauding larus. I want one to take a franchise on the garden and the church and declare it a no-go territory for pigeons, whilst leaving the rather friendly blackbird that nests in the shrubbery to get on with his family life with his wife and chicks.
If a gull can take up rule of the Vatican why not here?
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