Priests and Cats: cautionary tails

There seem to be cats everywhere on Catholic blogs:

Two cat stories for you:

#1

I was called to a house where the Satanist Alistair Crowley used to be a frequent visitor, the owner had stripped away some wallpaper and found some pornographic and satanic graffiti and painting, she had begun to experience strange things, sudden draughts, things disappearing only to be found later. After saying the Rosary, amid the marananja haze I proceeded to sprinkle the house liberally with Holy Water. The owner was quite disinterested, she was a non-Catholic, non-Catholics seem to have theses experiences, until I went into the last bedroom, there was a shriek and something small and black darted from the shadows and through the cat flap. Seconds later there was a squeal of brakes, but alas the pet Siamese was no more.

After replacing the plaster the "occurrences" were no more.

2#

A predecessor of mine was a large man, he used to tell the story of a visit he paid to an elderly lady, he tended to flop into chairs. He sat down, she went off to make some tea. He thought the chair was a bit lumpy, he felt underneath him and discovered he had sat on the cat. It was dead! He stuffed it into his pocket and put the corpse into a neighbours dustbin down the street.

On the next visit he said, "Mary I hear your dear sweet little pussycat has gone missing".

"Yes Father, and do you know, his little broke body was found down the street, some lout had obviously jumped up and down on him and broke every bone, a cruel blackguard he must have been, shall we say a decade for him, Father?"

"Of course, Mary, he must be a terrible wicked man".

Two hours later he was back and pulled out of his pocket a kitten.