Pregnancy "advice" services, both those in favour of abortion and those against, will be permitted to advertise, under a review by the Advertising Standards Authority, and here is the absolutely best news, condoms are going to be advertised around the clock.
Can't you just imagine how much more sexually healthy we are all going to be?
It is so obvious that these measures will encourage sexual athleticism, which again must be good news.
We have seen how successful condoms have been in controlling HIV in Africa, everyone knows it is much more efficient to give a boxful of condoms rather than educating people about abstinence and fidelity in marriage.
I can just imagine mums sending their children to school checking to make sure they have their gym kit, their homework and at least a couple of condoms in their pockets. We all know that that is going to result much less absenteeism at school it is going to stop so many mums ringing up to say their little one won't be coming to school this morning as they are going to be visiting the STD clinic. Yes, of course sexually transmitted diseases are going to be a thing of the past, isn't this great news? And for those boys who want to have sex with that timid girl who is always making excuses for not having sex, he can assure her by saying, "Look, I've a choice of condoms, choose, there is no problem".
As for "pregnancy advice services" being able to advertise that is really brilliant, it is going to mean every child that is born can be certain it is a wanted child. You can imagine slogans like "a child is not just for Christmas". Perhaps the abortion industry could save our economy ...................grr!
For the lady from Arkansas, I am being ironic.