My phone isn't working, I got a member of the parish to phone BT.
They phoned me back on my mobile; first of all they wanted me unscrew things, exposing live wires - what would "'elf and safety say".
Then they phoned again to say it was a fault at the Telephone Exchange but it would not be until the 26th June that they will get off their backsides and fix the fault 4 Days!
UPDATE: they have fixed it. It really is dreadful being a priest without a phone. The did divert the line to my mobile, but it is a bit disconcerting counselling someone who is seriously depressed on a crowded bus, in that loud voice you need when on the mobile.